Sanders gets sandbagged, a miracle for Mother Teresa, and a homework assignment shut down a school district. It’s Friday, and here are the 5 things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door:
BERNIE SANDERS
Data debacle: Last night, the Democratic National Committee went all Soup Nazi on the Bernie Sanders campaign and said, “No voter data for you!” Why? Because at least one campaign staffer couldn’t resist a little look-see at what the Hillary camp was cooking when a software snafu in the DNC site left that info exposed. The Sanders’ team fired the curious staffer. But now it finds itself suspended from the DNC voter database. That’s huuuuge because campaigns use that treasure trove of info to plot strategy.
‘AFFLUENZA’ TEEN
Lifestyle of the rich and infamous: Where is Ethan Couch? He’s the teen who killed four people while driving drunk, then claimed he should get a pass because he had “affluenza”? (noun: a made-up condition where you’re not responsible for your actions because you’re rich, and your mommy and daddy didn’t set boundaries). Hey, it worked because he got probation. But it seems even that may have been too much because Couch has gone MIA. His mom too. Now, the sheriff and the feds are after him and they are maaad.
MARTIN SHKRELI
Shady shenanigans: The “most-hated man in America” was busted yesterday. But not for what America had hoped for: jacking up the price of an AIDS drug by 5,000%. No, pharmaceutical CEO Martin Shkreli was arrested for bilking some of his other companies out of millions of dollars. Feds say he kept losing money for investors, so he’d take assets from one company to pay off debtors of another. You know, skeezy Ponzi scheming. He bailed out. He can go home to that Wu-Tang Clan album he bought for $2 million!
STORAGE UNIT DEATH
It just gets worse: Finding two children dead, stuffed in bags in a California storage unit, is bad enough. Finding out how they lived proves to be even worse. An autopsy on the two kids — a 3-year-old and her 6-year-old brother — finds they died of “ongoing physical abuse.” Two people have been charged with the deaths, but their relationship to the kids is still being hashed out. What started all this was the discovery of a battered and malnourished 9-year-old girl on the floor of an SUV.
SAN BERNARDINO ATTACK
Unholy alliances: The San Bernardino shooters can never be charged for their crimes. So police nabbed the next best thing: friend and ex-neighbor Enrique Marquez. He’s accused of plotting an attack on a community college and a busy freeway with Syed Rizwan Farook. But the two chickened out. Marquez swears he didn’t know about the San Bernardino attack. But he did buy some of the guns and explosives Farook and his bride used. Oh, and the feds say Marquez was also in a sham marriage. (Here are all the charges and why)
… BUT THERE’S MORE
A high school teacher assigns a homework on Islamic calligraphy and an entire school district shuts down … Mother Teresa is two for two on the miracle-performing front, and is headed for sainthood … A minor convicted of the horrendous gang rape of a woman in a Delhi bus will walk free … New Orleans votes to remove Confederate monuments; a lawsuit says not so fast.
BREAKFAST BROWSE
People are talking about these. Read up. Join in.
Quote of the day
“It is always a great honor to be so nicely complimented by a man so highly respected within his own country and beyond”
— Donald Trump, returning the love to Russian President Vladimir Putin, who called him “an outstanding and talented personality” and “the absolute leader of the presidential race.”
Belgian bungle: Things are just different in Belgium. A raid last month on a house related to one of the Paris terror attack suspects was delayed — because Belgian law forbids house searches during overnight hours. Yeah, really.
You had one job!
You know Lifelock? The company whose TV ads promise it’ll keep its customers’ personal info safe? Well, it’s shelling out $100 million to settle charges it failed to keep its customers’ personal info safe.
Christmas bonuses? Ha!
The Mike Huckabee campaign has slashed salaries for some senior staff members. It totally has nothing to do with him floundering in his White House bid, the campaign says.
So near, so far
Good news! Scientists have found a planet capable of sustaining life, and it’s only a short 14 light years away. The bad news? We’ll probably never master travel at light speed, so we’re not going there anytime soon.
AND FINALLY …
And now the weather for Tatooine, Jakku and Hoth …
A British weather forecaster works in 12 “Star War” puns – TWELVE – during a routine update. And with such a straight face too.
