Calling a bluff. Predicting a riot. And blaming an app. It’s Thursday, and here’s what you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door:
SUPREME COURT
The last great showdown: Regarding that open Supreme Court seat, the GOP had told the Prez, ‘Don’t even bother.’ So what does Obama do? He nominates Merrick Garland – stable, sober, conventional … and someone Republicans have repeatedly praised. Talk about cold-eyed calculation. If GOP leaders refuse to budge, it’ll be clear it’s for partisan reasons and “not due to any concerns with the nominee’s qualifications or record,” one analyst said. In other words, take what I am offering or you may rue the day. <Slow clap>
NORTH KOREA
Behind bars for a banner: North Korea sentenced a University of Virginia student to 15 years hard labor for allegedly removing a political banner from a Pyongyang hotel. Not the smartest thing to do admittedly, but still “unduly harsh,” the State Department says. Otto Frederick Warmbier’s crime, according to Pyongyang? Committing a hostile act against the state, encouraged by a secretive university organization and the CIA. The real reason, according to analysts? To use him as leverage.
HOSPITAL INVESTIGATION
A dose of bad news: Nearly 5,000 patients in four states have been told they could have been exposed to hepatitis or HIV — all because a surgical tech couldn’t help himself from getting a good buzz. The tech, who’s tested positive for Hepatitis B, would allegedly inject himself with syringes of fentanyl, fill them with saline and put them back. That, as we all know, is a no-no. You can’t use the same syringe twice. The good news so far: The risk is considered “extremely low,” but who needs to worry about that?
KALAMAZOO SHOOTING SUSPECT
Uber unbelievable: Jason Dalton has his scapegoat. The man accused of killing six people in the Kalamazoo shooting spree blames Uber. Not just blames Uber, but is suing them for $10 million. The reason? His work as an Uber driver caused him “psychological damage.” The app, he says, made him “like a puppet.” It would “take over your whole body.” Um, where is that under “settings?”
CAMPAIGN 2016
Working the ref: Riots. Floods. Locusts. Donald Trump and Ted Cruz predict all of these — (well, maybe not the last two) — if the GOP establishment goes for a brokered convention this summer. That’s ignoring the will of the voters and doing what you want. After John Kasich took Ohio, the math got harder for The Donald to win the party nomination outright. A convention floor fight is possible. Things could get ugly. But, then again, why stop now?
BREAKFAST BROWSE
People are talking about these. Read up. Join in.
If you’re happy and you know it
The folks of Denmark top the World Happiness Report for the third time in four years. That should get them smiling. Wait, they already are.
Pigeons with backpacks
Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. Oh, should have stopped at it’s a bird.
Head scratcher
If you’re a math professor you have to do something pretty special to make headlines. Andrew Wiles solved a 300-year-old equation.
Power up
The next renewable energy source is in the produce aisle: tomatoes!
Location, location, location
Did you know your address can predict your premature death? That’s a fun thought, isn’t it?
AND FINALLY …
Are you kitten me?
There’s a new baby in the house and the cats are curious.
