Rapper Kid Cudi checked himself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges and posted a message on his Facebook page saying, “I am not at peace.”
“I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I wouldve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. Theres a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times,” the post said.
Cudi revealed on Facebook late Tuesday that he had gone to rehab on Monday, after grappling with anxiety and depression throughout his life.
He wrote that he didn’t know what “peace feels like” or how to relax.
“My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I cant make new friends because of it. I dont trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace.”
He apologized repeatedly throughout his post.
“Im scared, im sad, I feel like I let a lot of people down and again, Im sorry. Its time I fix me. Im nervous but ima get through this.”
He signed the post with his birth name, Scott Mescudi.
Other artists express support
The rapper has openly shared his battles with depression before. Earlier this year, he told Billboard that he had used drugs to cope with his depression.
“I thought about how much of a struggle it has been the past eight years, to be in the news and pretend to be happy when, really, I was living a nightmare,” he told Billboard in April.
“I have everything I ever dreamed of in terms of stability. But I hadn’t been living that reality, because depression was f—ing me up.”
Cudi’s frank admission about his mental health drew support from other artists.
Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz tweeted that Cudi’s “speaking out and letting the world see your humanity is inspiring.”
Rapper T. Carrier tweeted: “wow your letter just made me cry. i can relate on so many levels & i admire your courage.”
Cudi vs. Kanye
Cudi sparked a rap flap in September when he took to Twitter to call out rappers he claimed had others write their songs for them… like Kanye West and Drake.
“Everyone thinks they’re soooo great,” he tweeted. “Talkin top 5 and be having 30 people write songs for them.”
“My tweets apply to who they apply. Ye, Drake, whoever,” Cudi wrote, along with some profanity.
West, who signed Kid Cudi to his G.O.O.D. Music label in 2008, responded while performing on stage during a Tampa, Florida, concert stop.
He paused his performance of the song “I Don’t Like” to tell Kid Cudi “don’t never mention ‘Ye name. I birthed you.”
Cudi’s debut single after joining West’s music label, “Day ‘N’ Nite,” hit No. 3 on Billboard’s Hot 100 in May 2009.
Looking ahead
Cudi, who won a Grammy in 2011 for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration for the song “All of the Lights” — along with Kanye West, Rihanna and Fergie — promised that his latest album is still on the way and that he planned to attend ComplexCon, a convention billed as “this generation’s World Fair,” scheduled for November 5-6 in Long Beach, California.
His website had a concise message: “cudi #brb.”
