Obama wears through a misconception. The militias wear out their welcome. And Wall Street is just plain worn down. It’s Friday, and here are the 5 things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door:
GUN CONTROL
Repeat after me: I’m not coming for your guns
I’m not coming for your guns
I’m not coming for your guns
That was President Obama’s mantra, repeated over and over again at the CNN town hall last night. He called the notion “imaginary fiction.” The NRA isn’t convinced Obama’s not going to get all grabby hands. They called the event a “PR stunt.” The main thrust of Obama’s executive action is to increase background checks. You know, the kind you go through to get a job, rent an apartment or … sit in the same room as the President during a town hall to debate background checks. A majority of Americans like Obama’s plans but they don’t like him going around Congress. See? It’s all very clear cut.
OREGON OCCUPIERS
You don’t have to go home but you can’t say here: Oregon Gov. Kate Brown channeled Semisonic and told the armed group that’s taken over a wildlife refuge that it’s closing time. The county sheriff’s also telling the militia men to pack up and roll out. The group leader, Ammon Bundy, says they’re not going anywhere until the feds release two ranchers in jail for arson. Oh, and those ranchers? They too want nothing to do with this bunch. Sheesh, get a hint already!
KOREA TENSIONS
Pump up the volume: It’s Kim Jong Un’s birthday. And the South celebrated it by blasting K-pop through huge speakers at its communist neighbor. That’s one of the ways it annoys North Korea when things get tense. And after that H-bomb stunt lil Kim pulled this week, things are definitely tense in the peninsula. The North considers such propaganda broadcasts an act of war and will … um, ah .. who knows what it’ll do. Oh, if only Dennis Rodman was back there singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to the dictator.
PARIS ANNIVERSARY ATTACK
A close call: Today, we’re expected to find out the name of the knife-wielding man who tried to force his way into a Paris police station carrying a fake bomb and a printed image of the ISIS flag. Cops shot him dead before he could do serious damage yesterday. But the timing of the attack is troubling: 11:30 a.m., about a year to the minute of the Charlie Hebdo massacre. Of course, Paris suffered an even bigger blow when terrorists struck again in November.
FINANCIAL MARKETS
TGIF!: Wall Street’s probably never been so happy to see the end of the week: the Dow’s down more than 900, oil is at a 12-year low and China’s stock market is, well, just screwed. China’s economic woes are a definite drag on U.S. markets. But hope springs eternal. China seems to have calmed the markets this morning. Here’s hoping the Dow takes a chill pill too.
BREAKFAST BROWSE
People are talking about these. Read up. Join in.
Quote of the day: “”These are guys with the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty … they come up here, they sell their heroin, they go back home. Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave.” Paule LePage, the governor of Maine, talking about out-of-town drug dealers and keepin’ it classy.
Hard to swallow
This is a Thai ad for a skin-whitening pill. Gee, we wonder why its generated such a backlash.
The spice girls
First Rihanna, now Beyonce. Thank goodness, the ladies will show up at the Super Bowl halftime show to put the siZZZle in Coldplay’s zzz.
Number of the day: $700 million.
That’s the new Powerball jackpot, the biggest in U.S. history. The next drawing’s Saturday. By all means, don’t let the 1 in 292 million odds stop you.
AND FINALLY …
If you don’t have something nice to say, say it anyway
… and that includes sending congrats to North Korea — for detonating a nuke.
