What’s a nothing burger? Imagine biting into what you think is a thick, juicy, hot half-pound of wagyu on a kaiser only to come away with a mouthful of…nothing.
It’s the hype without the payoff. It’s a promise that never delivers. It’s a bag of hot air ensconced in a deceptively delicious coating.
And, for some reason, it’s the hottest new political insult.
Lawmakers and influencers of every stripe have been lobbing the slang, which has been firmly rooted in internet culture for years, to discount or dismiss the warring conspiracies, investigations and controversies swirling around in the giant fecal tornado that is our current political discourse.
But history sometimes surprises us. The term “nothing burger” (or “nothingburger,” if you’re feeling compounded) is somewhat of an antique. It first appeared in print in the 1950s, when a gossip columnist used it used it to dismiss an actress.
“After all, if it hadn’t been for Sam Goldwyn, Farley Granger might very well be a nothingburger,” columnist Louella Parsons wrote in 1953.
Now that you have prepared your palate, sit back and enjoy the video above of extremely important people saying “nothing burger.” At some point you are bound to reach semantic satiation, when words begin to lose their meaning, and from the infernal clamor peace at last will come.