A teen magazine is under fire in Singapore for publishing an advice column that told a young woman who said she had been raped by a male friend that she should be grateful he wore a condom.
In response to a question from a reader, the “Dear Kelly” column in the November edition of Teenage, said the reader had acted “like a girl who has been around.”
It unleashed outrage on social media from readers who were furious that the alleged victim had been blamed.
The advice seeker wrote in her letter: “I planned to stay with a boy I met… I was so excited and felt so grown-up. When I arrived, he had a gift waiting for me. … He grabbed me and kissed me. I pulled away.”
After a long evening including a “romantic” dinner, the writer who doesn’t give her real name, says she had had “too much to drink” and was unable to resist the unidentified male’s advances, which included “cuddling and kissing and … undressing me.”
She claims that she cannot recall what followed that evening, but awoke the next day to find herself lying naked in bed next to the man in question, who said, according to the article: “Wow! I didn’t know you were a virgin, honey!”
In her response, “Dear Kelly” pins the blame on her for her friend’s actions.
‘Be grateful he wore a condom’
“Unfortunately, you gave every indication you were a willing player in his unfolding seduction plan… I don’t blame him for thinking you were not a virgin. You acted like a girl who has been around,” the column said.
Kelly went on to add: “…I can’t help but wonder how a poly student could be so naïve? …You are expected to know what happens when a girl agrees to stay over at a guy’s house when only the two of them are in residence.”
And she concluded with this: “You can be grateful that he wore a condom…”
The harsh tone of the advice provoked a fiery response online, with tweets and Facebook posts calling out “Dear Kelly.”
“Dear Kelly, I regret naively trusting your column on Teenage and reading it religiously as a teenager because I now know you condone slut and victim shaming,” said Facebook user Yi Tsing Pekyj.
Teenage apologized for the column on Friday, publishing a statement from Kelly Chopard, a teacher who has been writing the column since 1996, according to the magazine.
“I sincerely apologize if my response to ‘Raped after lying to mum’ came across as harsh and ‘blaming the victim.’ Please believe me when I say I am profoundly sorry for teenagers who are vulnerable and often ‘naïve’ as I stressed, more than once, in my response in this case,” said Chopard’s statement.
“I have to adopt a particular tone so as to make sure the writer does not engage in such risky behavior again, and this is also aimed at warning readers of the consequences they face should they engage in risky behavior,” she added.
When contacted by CNN, the magazine didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.
The Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE) in Singapore said in statement that sexual assault happens because the perpetrator chooses to disregard consent and not because of decision made by the victim.
“Rather than berate and judge victims of sexual assault, you should send the clear message that rape and sexual assault is never the victim’s fault, and encourage them to seek support and help,” AWARE said.