Dear Jane,
I wanted to write you a letter about a guy you like.
Normally I wouldn’t say a thing. It’s really none of my business who you like and why you like him.
But as women, I feel like we owe it to each other to say something when one of us is falling for someone who might hurt her. Most of us have met at least one of these guys before, the kind who pretends to be one thing in the honeymoon phase but turns into a complete nightmare once you’re committed.
I get it. I liked him, too, when he first hit the scene in July. It was easy to understand his appeal.
He was so exciting, refreshing and fun.
I was immediately won over by his professional accomplishments. Admittedly, plenty of women give men a pass when they make a lot of money, hold positions of power or act macho. I liked it how Donald “mixed things up,” particularly after all those boring conservative guys you’ve liked in the last eight years.
I could tell you were having a lot of fun. More fun than you’ve had in years; it was fun for us all for a while. He was so unpredictable and charming, definitely the life of the party.
But as we got to know him, and he started saying some pretty offensive things about just about everyone he didn’t like, it got kinda old — kinda fast. And when other people came to your defense saying they were worried about how he treated other women, well, he attacked them. And it’s only gotten worse, Jane.
On Wednesday he said women who had illegal abortions under a Trump presidency should be punished by law — but he hadn’t thought up the penalty yet. You are kidding me.
When conservatives called him out on it, he completely changed his story, calling women who get abortions “victims” and saying doctors who perform abortions should be punished by law instead.
And this week one of his senior people was charged with misdemeanor simple battery against a woman reporter. The whole thing is on tape, but he’s still defending the guy. It seems like every week he is obsessively attacking a woman who’s just doing her job. I know he hates his opponent Ted, but why attack his wife? She didn’t do anything to him.
Jane, are you prepared for the reality that he will turn on you? He turned on his first two wives. He seems to hate women who challenge him. Are you ready for this?
So I checked into his past with women, and I was really surprised by what I found.
It wasn’t just the recent stuff, which you’ve got to admit has been weird. Why does a guy that successful refer to women as “bimbos,” “fat pigs,” “dogs,” “slobs,” “disgusting animals” and “total losers”?
Can you imagine how furious you would be if your daughter dated a kid that talked about girls like that?
Speaking of daughters: Wait until you heard what he said about his own daughter, Ivanka.
“Yeah, she’s really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father. …”
Or that time he said, to a bunch of other women, with Ivanka sitting right there, “she does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Who says that? It’s not funny, it’s creepy.
It’s not her fault. She’s incredible, a role model to working women everywhere. And his sons, they are remarkable, too. Like that lady in Wisconsin said, it’s a shame their father can’t be more like them. That his sons act nothing like their father makes his behavior more confounding.
But remember, you aren’t going to be in a relationship with his sons. You are about to make a commitment to their father.
I heard he was bragging about the size of his penis in public recently. Seriously?
Did you know his favorite line in the move “Pulp Fiction”? “My favorite part is when Sam (Jackson) has his gun out in the diner, and he tells the guy to tell his girlfriend to shut up. Tell that bitch to be cool. Say: ‘Bitch be cool.’ I love those lines.”
I could keep going, but there’s so much it might just make you defensive to hear more.
I know he says he’s going to be “phenomenal” to you.
But seriously Jane, I really think he hates women. Perhaps he doesn’t know it because of his “ass” rule.
He told Esquire about it in 1991. He was referring to some bad press and said this: “You know, it really doesn’t matter what they write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass. But she’s got to be young and beautiful.”
If this doesn’t seem like a really bad sign of what’s to come with this man, I don’t know what to say.
And maybe this letter won’t make a difference. But I hope in some small way it makes you stop and think about the man you say you love.
I’m not judging you. I’m judging him.
I know two days ago he told you to forget about the past, Jane. But for the sake of your future, I hope you are smart enough to stop listening to him.