“Big Bang Theory” star Melissa Rauch is expecting her first child and made the announcement in a candid essay in which she speaks about the heartbreaking miscarriage she experienced last time she was pregnant.
In a guest column written for Glamour, the television actress reveals she’s “pretty much terrified” that her current pregnancy will result in a another loss, but said she hoped sharing her full story would help others.
“During the time when I was grieving over my pregnancy loss or struggling with fertility issues, every joyful, expectant baby announcement felt like a tiny stab in the heart,” she wrote. “So when I thought about having to share the news about expecting this baby, all I could think about was another woman mourning over her loss as I did, worried she would never get pregnant again, and reading about my little bundle on the way. It felt a bit disingenuous to not also share the struggle it took for me to get here.”
Rauch called her miscarriage “one of the most profound sorrows I have ever felt in my life” and is open about the depression she experienced after, fueled by the undue blame she put on herself.
“You’re not necessarily going to a funeral or taking time off from work to mourn, but that doesn’t change the fact that something precious has been unexpectedly taken from your life,” she wrote.
On “The Big Bang Theory,” Rauch plays Bernadette, a microbiologist who is married to Howard, one of the show’s original four male stars.
Bernadette and Howard welcomed their first child in an episode last season.
Rauch calls for less stigma around the issue of miscarriage and more awareness that well-meaning questions about a woman’s “baby agenda” can be harmful.
“All I really know for sure is that this experience has changed me forever,” she wrote. “I know it’s made me grateful for every moment of my current pregnancy, and I hope it will make me a better mother in some capacity when I can finally hold the child that has been in my heart in my arms.”