Al-Shabaab’s hurting. ISIS is too. Not a bad day for the good guys. It’s Tuesday, and here are the 5 things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door.
AL-SHABAAB
Shabaab slam: They were standing outside in military formation. Then they got smashed. That’s what the Pentagon said yesterday, when it announced that around 150 Al-Shabaab fighters were killed over the weekend in a U.S. strike on a training camp in Somalia. Drones and manned aircraft delivered the deadly blows. The move stopped an imminent threat against both U.S. troops and African peacekeepers in the country.
ISIS
Crude reality: The well-oiled ISIS war machine’s starting to creak, y’all. Time was, the richest terorrist group in history was producing nearly 50,000 barrels per day — to the tune of a cool $1 million daily. Now, thanks to U.S.-led military strikes which have done a number on its facilities, it’s down to about 20,000 barrels. So, ISIS has resorted to extorting money from those who live in its so-called Caliphate — you know, the same place it’s been touting as being this paradise for believers.
ERIN ANDREWS
Jumbo judgement: Is $55 million enough to erase the pain after your privacy’s been violated in the worst way? It’s not, but it serves as somewhat of a vindication. A Nashville jury awarded Fox Sports reporter Erin Andrews the multi-million dollar judgement yesterday in her lawsuit over the nude video of her that was secretly filmed at a hotel. Michael Barrett — the stalker who filmed the video and subsequently put it on the Internet — and the Nashville Marriott’s owner and management company were held responsible.
SUPREME COURT
All together now: After the death of Justice Antonin Scalia, a flurry of 4-4 ties from the court was predicted. Not yesterday. The high court was unanimous — that’s 8-0 — when it reversed an Alabama Supreme Court’s decision not to recognize a gay adoption from another state. It’s a little complicated, but basically Alabama said a gay adoption involving one of its citizens in Georgia was invalid. The Supremes said no, an adoption valid in one state is valid in them all (just Google the Constitution’s full faith and credit clause).
CAMPAIGN 2016
Super Tuesday II: Who knew big election days got sequels? While it won’t be as big or as exciting as the original (but what sequel is?), today’s version of Super Tuesday could still generate plenty of drama. On the Dems side, if Team Sanders has any hopes of catching up to Team Clinton, it’s gotta make Michigan feel the Bern. For the GOP, The Donald hopes to blunt Ted Cruz’s momentum (and make Marco sweat) with a pair of wins in Mississippi and Michigan. Can’t get enough? Don’t worry, Super Tuesday III is next week.
BREAKFAST BROWSE
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Quote of the day:
“Yet another reason why you should not drink and drive”
A post from the Roselle, Illinois, police department’s Facebook page, after it put up this photo of a 15-foot tree lodged in a car’s front grill. The driver — you guessed it — was charged with DUI.
On second thought …
Ex-NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg is not running for president. “Bummer,” said absolutely no one.
The Great Puzzle Scandal of 2016
USA Today’s crossword puzzle editor takes a break after he’s accused of copying from New York Times puzzles.
Let there be … quiet
Legendary rock band AC/DC postpones its latest tour, because lead singer Brian Johnson risks total hearing loss if he stays on the road.
Mac attack
You use an Apple computer, so you don’t worry about bad stuff like “ransomware?” Well, you might not be as safe as you think.
A hands-on committee
We thought this election season couldn’t get any weirder. We were wrong: Introducing the Trump Has Tiny Hands political action committee.
I, robot
Proof that we’ve learned nothing from “The Terminator:” U.S. military is spending millions to make real-life cyborgs.
Out of bounds
Tennis star Maria Sharapova faces suspension after she admitted failing a drug test at the Aussie Open in January.
AND FINALLY …
Wait, where’s the farm?
Parents wanted to keep a trip to the circus under wraps, so they told their 4 year old they were going to a “broccoli farm.” Big mistake.