Thursday’s 5 things: A threat, a strike and an outrageous price hike

Turkey fires back. Apple defies a judge. And Britain wants out. It’s Thursday, and here are the 5 things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door:

1. GOP TOWN HALL

Carolina on my mind: The cool thing about last night’s CNN town hall in Greenville, SC, was that the candidates got to talk without constant interruption. *cough*Trump*cough*  Ted Cruz unloaded on The Donald. Rubio scored serious points with a heartfelt answer to a question about racism. And Carson handed the NRA a new slogan. Even though all three massaged the truth, Cruz was right about one thing: He’s a truly TERRIBLE singer. Rubio revealed he likes EDM (Really?). And Carson said he unwinds with an exciting game of pool (Big surprise!) Today, it’s the other trifecta’s turn: Trump, Bush and Kasich.

2. SAN BERNARDINO SHOOTING

Not gonna do it: A judge wants Apple to do the FBI a solid and break into San Bernardino shooter Syed Farook’s iPhone. The feds tried to crack the pass code – but we all know what happens after 10 failed tries. Yup, they managed to wipe out all its data. Apple’s response to the judge’s order? HARD PASS! It held up the ‘slippery slope’ argument. Basically: ‘We love the government and all, but we do this and where does it end?’ We’re guessing with a higher court.

3. FLINT WATER CRISIS

Hard to swallow: A nationwide survey found Flint residents paid the highest water rates in America. Yes, for the privilege of drinking that disgusting, contaminated water, the folks of Flint paid about $864 a year — almost three times the national average. Talk about rubbing salt on your lead-tainted wound!

4. BREXIT

Should I stay or should I go?: Brexit – the idea the Brits may vote to leave the EU. The mere thought has the EU freaking out. If Britain leaves, who knows who’ll be next. There are strong commercial reasons for the Brits to stay, but they aren’t fans of the social bits. For instance, the Brits want to restrict welfare benefits for migrants. So, today, EU leaders will meet in Brussels to convince Great Britain they can change. Kind of like a continental couple’s therapy. 

5. TURKEY ATTACK

The avengers: The man who carried out yesterday’s suicide attack on a military convoy in the Turkish capital has links to the Kurdish separatist group YPG, the country’s Prime Minister said this morning. In response, Turkish military launched strikes on Kurdish targets. Things are really scary in Turkey these days. Last month, a suicide bombing at a square in Istanbul killed 10 Germans – the deadliest attack on Germans abroad in more than a decade. And yesterday’s suicide attack killed 28 people and injured more than 50. 

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Quote of the day: “I just woke the American people up. I took them out of the game show moment and woke enough of them up to say, ‘Look how close your liberty is to being lost.”

— Glenn Beck, assuming the voice of the Lord to tell radio listeners God took Justice Scalia to encourage Americans to vote for Ted Cruz. We had no idea God was so hands-on in American politics.

Outage outrage

Comcast’s mea culpa for this week’s service outage? Customer credit for a whopping $2!

Nothing compares 2 U

Prince doesn’t do average. And his pursed-lipped passport photo shames all of ours.

Widespread panic

A small town in rural Australia is buried in a bizarre kind of grass: the ‘hairy panic.’

Number of the day: “300”

The number of goals The number of goals Lionel Messi has scored in La Liga – the first player to do so. He quickly followed that up with his 301st. Another day, another record for the soccer god. Ain’t no thang.

And finally…

Got milk?

This kitty feel asleep during dinner but isn’t quite done.

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