Thinning patience in Oregon, thinning herd in the presidential race and thin ice with Kim Jong Un. It’s Thursday, and here are the 5 things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door:
OREGON REFUGE OCCUPATION
Time to bounce: Remember those folks who took over the wildlife refuge in Oregon? Yep, some of them are still there, even if we’ve all moved on with our lives. Well, it looks like the FBI is finally running out of patience with their rebels-without-a-cause shenanigans. Last night, agents surrounded the stone cabins where about four holdouts are still holed up. The feds aren’t saying if they’ll move in; just that they continue to negotiate. In case you’ve lost count (and we don’t blame you), we’re on day 41 of this siege.
FERGUSON
Give an inch, take a mile: For seven months, the Justice Dept. worked with Ferguson to reform its police department. You know, the one that was found to routinely profile blacks in traffic stops and use unjustified force (See: Mike Brown). On Tuesday, the city decided, ‘Meh we don’t like the terms of the deal,’ and suggested not one, not two, but seven changes. After the feds picked their jaws off the floor, they sued. Residents waited decades for justice, the attorney general said; they shouldn’t be forced to wait any longer. Check and mate.
CAMPAIGN 2016
Another one bites the dust: Time was, you’d run out of fingers before you’d run out of Republicans running for president. Well, we’re finally at a point where you can comfortably count the ones with a pulse left. This after N.J. Gov. Chris Christie dropped out yesterday, as did ex-HP exec Carly Fiorina. The good Dr. Carson says he’s feeling pressure too — but of a different sort: the pressure to stay in. That Carson and his sound bites!
NORTH KOREA
Who’s the boss?: This morning, we learned North Korea executed a military chief, a general by the name of Ri Yong-gil. The official reason was “factionalism, misuse of authority and corruption.” But whenever Pyongyang does somebody in, it pretty much always triggers speculation they crossed Kim Jong Un and he decided to go all Napolean complex on them. He’s still young and figuring out his friends from his frenemies, says one expert. And “the people who are on the wrong side become disposable.”
CANADA MYSTERY
Thirteen feet: And by 13 feet, we’re talking the human kind. You know, with toes and a heel. That’s how many have washed up on shore in British Columbia since 2007. It happened again this week: a foot, stuffed inside a sock and shoe. The good news? The coroner doesn’t think anybody cut it off. It probably just rotted off. It may have come from somebody who committed suicide. That’s what happened in most of the other cases. Still kinda creepy, no?
Breakfast browse
People are talking about these. Read up. Join in.
Playing around
The boy wizard’s back. For the 8th time. But there’s a twist: This Harry Potter book’s a script for a play.
Won’t take it sitting down
Grumbling about being stuck in economy behind some inconsiderate lummox reclining his seat? A U.S. lawmaker is proposing leg room law.
Why the long face?
If a horse could talk, it’d tell you. Because apparently, horses can read human expressions.
This is your brain on drugs
Smoking pot may help you forget your worries for a while, but it’ll definitely make you forget your words.
On a roll
With bathroom tissue so soft, no one can resist — especially this possum who made his home in a toilet paper dispenser at a Melbourne park.
What’s for lunch?
Here’s what’s happening later.
Announcement of utmost gravity: Scientists will probably declare today they have detected gravitational waves. That’ll confirm part of Einstein’s theory of relativity and add to our understanding of the universe. Win-win!
$500
That’s what Tamir Rice’s family is supposed to pay for EMT services after a cop shot and killed him. Talk about adding insult to injury!
And finally…
Teach a dog to fish and …
Watch this dog use bread for bait to catch a fish.