Today’s 5 things: Beginnings and endings

It may not be over in Oregon. It may just be starting in North Korea. And it may be even worse in Flint. It’s Thursday, and here are the five things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door.

OREGON OCCUPATION

Move along folks, nothing to see here: Go home. That’s what protest leader Ammon Bundy asked of his fellow protesters yesterday, a day after he and others were arrested during a traffic stop. Bundy wants everyone still at Oregon’s Malheur National Wildlife Refuge to “stand down” and go back home to their families, because “this fight is ours for now in the courts.” But the remaining occupiers don’t sound like they’re going anywhere anytime soon. So, it’s still anyone’s guess whether this thing will end in a bang or a whimper.

NORTH KOREA

Nothing to see here, either: U.S. spy satellites lay out the current scene: equipment and personnel being moved over the past couple of days to a secret facility in the northern part of North Korea. Preparations for a missile test? Heavens no, the North Koreans say, it’s just the stuff needed for a run-of-the-mill satellite launch. Avert your eyes; think nothing more of it. If all of this is for testing out a missile, it would violate U.N. resolutions. But when has that ever stopped Pyongyang?

CALIFORNIA JAIL ESCAPE

Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?: Yesterday, police arrested at least five gang members connected to two of the escaped inmates. And more arrests are in the offing. It’s not exactly clear what the gang members were arrested for, but police did say the escapees definitely had help from outside the jail.

EUROPE MIGRANT CRISIS

So much for a warm welcome: Some places in Europe have welcomed refugees from the Middle East and North Africa with open arms. Others? Not so much. We’re looking at you, Denmark, and your law allowing officials to seize migrants’ cash and valuables to help “cover expenses.” And you, Middlesbrough, England, where you’ve put asylum seekers in homes with red doors. Very subtle. And you, Wales, and you Hungary, and ….

FLINT WATER CRISIS

From bad to worse: So how many kids have been sickened by lead-contaminated water in Flint, Michigan? Who knows. That’s essentially the answer Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder gave to CNN’s Poppy Harlow yesterday. He said officials fear even more children were harmed than what blood tests have revealed so far. It’s just simply too early in the crisis to get a good handle on how bad the damage is. Here’s what else we learned during the chat with Snyder.

BREAKFAST BROWSE

People are talking about these. Read up. Join in.

Quote of the day:

“You have distracted from my creative process… I am your OG and I will be respected as such… Maybe I couldn’t be skinny and tall but I’ll settle for being the greatest artist of all time as a consolation”

Kanye West, unleashing one hella tweetstorm on fellow rapper Wiz Khalifa.

Wrong tune

Concerned neighbor: Officers, kick in the door of that apartment! I hear someone screaming in agony.

Police: No worries. It’s just some guy singing an opera.

Beat it

White actor Joseph Fiennes will play pop legend Michael Jackson in a new comedy. The levelheaded, slow-to-judge folk of social media are not amused.

Back to the future

They probably won’t come loaded with a flux capacitor, but new DeLoreans are headed back to a showroom near you.

Gerber goodness

Awwwww! The new Gerber baby will give you all the feels.

With friends like these …

Cool, you have, like, 5,000 Facebook friends. It’s a shame only four of them care about you in real life.

WHAT’S FOR LUNCH

Here’s what’s happening today.

Sad memory

Most of us remember where we were when the space shuttle Challenger exploded 30 years ago today.

AND FINALLY …

Straight outta jacket

Ever wanted to know how to escape a straitjacket? Pay attention.

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