I like to eat waffles. Pancakes are pretty good, too, but they fail to capture the essence of breakfast perfection for several different reasons. The first is that they just aren't crisp enough. With hot (or cold) syrup running on my breakfast, I want to ensure it isn't being absorbed at the speed of sound. The second is the ability to chew. Chewing pancakes is easy. It takes all the work out of the achievement of eating a darned good breakfast. Waffles give me a lasting feeling of accomplishment that I take with me all the way to lunch. Finally, waffles have style. What's a pancake have, stylistically? I circle? 2 pi, amirite? Waffles take an elegant approach, mixing in squares and hexagons with a circle, baffling the human mind with possibilities that you didn't know existed until you read this biography. I can't believe anyone read this.