“And so it goes until the day you die. This thing they call love, it’s gonna make you cry.” -The J. Geils Band, 1980
An old friend (let’s call him Tom) married a handful of years ago for the second time. Lo and behold, he divorced that woman a little while back. So, in baseball terms, he’s “oh and two.” I didn’t want to see him strike out. I asked him how long he dated his first two wives before marriage. In each case, it was less than six months. In other words, he falls fast.
I am a believer in learning from one’s mistakes. So, I asked him if he was going to do anything differently, moving forward. I had barely finished that query when he got a goofy grin on his face, and proclaimed, “Wait till you meet my new girlfriend!”
I wanted to tell him that he might be going from the frying pan into the fire. But, because it had become obvious that he changes spouses about as often as I change cars, my curiosity overtook my sympathy. I had to ask him where he found his latest squeeze. It turns out that it was one of those online deals. I asked him which one, and I visited their website.
I quickly realized two things. First, those online dating sites care way less about people finding true love than having people whip out their plastic for the faint chance that it may happen. Second, since you can look at profiles for free, I looked and realized that it is most definitely a jungle out there. I tore through a bowl of popcorn, alternately groaning and rolling my eyes.
It got to the point where I thought of starting my own online dating website. I could call it “Mike Match.” I’m sure that I could make it work, because I figure that it is the same for ladies as it is for men. I have to believe that there are a lot of male profiles out there that make women wonder why they bother looking. I believe that my sarcastic nature could add a lot to a dating site.
Back to thinking about my friend Tom, who I believe is the victim of former wives taking advantage of his willingness to fall quickly in love.
“Stop draggin’ my heart around.” -Stevie Nicks/Tom Petty, 1981
I offered the comment that, given past history, he might want to be more cautious this time around. He listened, but I am not sure that it sank in. I started to realize that there are people who simply have to be in a relationship, and are willing to settle for scenarios that are not ideal. Indeed, I know someone who was in a series of relationships. Each time, the girlfriend allowed him to do some remodeling on her domicile before she cut him loose.
“You don’t really want me, you just keep me hanging on.” -The Supremes, 1966
Relationships are a tricky thing; it’s always been that way. And sadly, the divorce rate keeps climbing. Things have gotten worse, because, in my mind, society has gotten worse. There’s a lot of “me first” mindsets out there, and social media continues to pour gasoline on the fire. We’re just not as nice as we used to be, which saddens me.
I believe that’s why sometimes people jump head-first into a relationship all too quickly. There’s that feeling that “I won’t find someone else like this, so I better do something about it right now.” Even worse, people simply forego all of that, and just choose to have short-lived “affairs.” It takes less effort, which for many seems to be the way to do things nowadays. That seems to be ignoring what a good relationship is about.
“You never even called me darlin’, darlin’. You never even called me by my name.” -David Allan Coe, 1975.
In my mind, it’s more like smoking a barbecue brisket. Slower is better. Am I somewhat of a Doubting Thomas on this? I suppose so. But, there is that barbecue brisket. A plate of good brisket will make one stop worrying about the dating scene.
“Love is just a lie, made to make you blue.” -Nazareth, 1976
But, what do I know? I have been accused of “casual indifference,” which sounds about right. Again, back to that brisket.
“I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind. I don’t care anymore.” -Phil Collins, 1983
So, you can feel free to turn to AI to criticize me, which happened when I went off on pickleball a while back. Though, I did win that war, using my own intelligence, rather than that fake stuff.
I suppose my best advice is what I told my CHS girls tennis team, when I was working with them on their service toss. By rule, they did not have to try to hit a bad toss. I would say, “Hitting your service toss is like dating guys. Hold out for a good one!” They would giggle, but in a lot of ways, it was so true.
“All I can say is, love stinks!” -The J. Geils Band. Do watch the video! The shot of the bride and groom wearing gas masks is priceless!
