I am a huge “Seinfeld” fan; one of the best episodes of that show was the “Festivus” episode. My friends and I celebrate Festivus on December 23, and for me, it surpasses Christmas.
Festivus includes various parts. There is the Festivus pole, of course. And, there are “Feats of Strength.” Then, there is the all-important “Airing of Grievances.”
I’m a little old for the Feats of Strength, but I can’t celebrate Festivus without an “Airing of Grievances.” As Frank Costanza once proclaimed, “I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it!”
Driving Me Crazy—I am particular about driving. My Dad always warned me to expect that the other driver will do something stupid. Nowadays in Clearfield, stupid happens regularly. I see every kind of horrible driving, every single day. I would say more, but I will save that for another column. Though, if you are driving with a pet in your lap, well, who is driving? Is the pet in charge of the turn signals? Does he adjust the sound system? Maybe Fido likes to listen to AC/DC.
Unsafe At Any Speed—There was a time when tractor-trailer drivers were some of the best drivers on the road. No longer. Some of them still handle their loads safely, but there are far too many who can’t drive safely though light snow, and can’t be bothered to wait until a heavier snow passes and the roads clear. During episodes of bad weather, I avoid Interstate 80 entirely; at that point, it is a scary mess that typically results in numerous crashes, more often than not with a semi or more involved. In their need to employ enough drivers, some trucking firms are handing a job to anyone and everyone. And, there are sub-standard training centers out there handing out CDLs. I would complain more, but then, I don’t think it would matter. Many of those drivers are unable to read what I write.
Leftovers With a Side of Oil and Chips—PennDot touts the infamous “oil and chips” as a way to extend road surface life. IMO, whoever invented this vile maintenance item should be tarred and chipped. Anyone who tries to keep his or her vehicle looking decent cringes when such a road is ahead. I will avoid such a road for at least a month after application.
It’s amazing that a state with the second-highest gasoline tax in the country utilizes such a disgusting way of maintaining road surfaces. However, when Governor Shapiro diverts over $370 million in the last two years from PennDot’s ability to maintain roads, in order to boost public transportation in the Philadelphia area, I guess that we should get used to leftovers. It definitely appears that Josh Shapiro doesn’t believe that Pennsylvania exists west of Harrisburg. There is a solution—just gift the City of Philadelphia to New Jersey. Addition by subtraction, is what I say.
Electric Avenue—The number of electric bikes, scooters, and skateboards around here (and everywhere) has increased exponentially in the last year. More often than not, the driver/rider is young, and is not paying attention to what is going on. Often, such person is wearing headphones. It is an accident waiting to happen. Family members who work in the emergency medical profession tell me that the number of such riders who they treat has exploded. I fear that there will be an unfortunate collision around here, and sooner rather than later. Motorcyclists are subject to rider training to get a license, and annual inspections of their rides. Why not these electric cowboys?
My Holiday Wish—I’ve rooted for the Pittsburgh Pirates and Steelers since I was little. Sadly, it is getting harder and harder to be a fan. The Pirates continue to be a bottom-level team, as cheapskate owner Bob Nutting refuses to pay for better talent, all the while lining his own pockets (4th– most profitable MLB team in 2024). Rooting for the Steelers nowadays is like dating a really beautiful woman, all the while knowing that she will break your heart. Steelers’ ownership, and coach Mike Tomlin, seem to be satisfied with being a mid-level team, nothing more. Tomiln hasn’t won a playoff game since 2016.
I have longed for Bob Nutting to sell the Pirates, and for the Steelers to fire Mike Tomlin, for a number of years. My wishes have gone unnoticed.
So, it’s time to appeal to a higher power. So Santa, how about it? All I want for Christmas is for Nutting and Tomlin to be gone. I know a lot of others feel like I do. We can’t take it anymore.
If you can deliver this, I will seriously consider giving up my Grinch ways. I will even trade in my Festivus pole for a real Christmas tree. I promise.
